Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Your shirt... Was in my pants
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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