Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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