You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
