Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
