Just took my morning after pill in the library
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
