The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
