ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
