so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
