you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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