Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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