it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
