the condom got lost in my hair
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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