they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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