I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
