Whod you bang
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
