She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
