Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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