you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
