she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
