That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
