He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
