My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Boobs speak an international language.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
