Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
