After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
