....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
