He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
