Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
