Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
