3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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