I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
