The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
