so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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