So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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