I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
