i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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