Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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