Moan for me like Helen Keller
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
