I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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