I'm eating all of the evidence.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
