Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
