even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
