My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
