my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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