She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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