she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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