elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
