I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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