like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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