I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
