He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
